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b-LOG: Control & Frustration

b-LOG: Control & Frustration
Date Posted: 21/08/2020

These are the 2 over-arching emotions in real estate.


When selling or buying a home, you will typically be feeling one of these.

Mr. Skipworthy is selling his home when supply is low and buyer demand is relentless. There is very little competition out there (not many other homes) and the buyers seem to want what he has.

Mr. Skipworth is feeling control.

He’s in a position of relative power. He can set the tone and the ground rules.

“I, Mr. Skipworthy, will consider allllll of your offers next Monday once I’ve enjoyed a relaxing dinner. Let’s say, around 7pm.”

He can be a bit wrong on pricing. He can maybe not do all the little things he should in order to get his home sold. And if there is one thing he’s not feeling, its Frustration.

He has something that more than a few people want. Kind of like why Apple was just valued at nearly 2 trillion dollars. Do you think an Apple 11 Pro is really worth $1,600? They have control.

Ms. Ellsworth is frustrated.

She is looking to buy a home. She has done all the right steps. Got her financing pre-approved. Her deposit is resting comfortably in a separate bank account ready to get turned into a bank draft.

She has researched on fairly steadily. And by steadily, I mean all the time. At work. At the breakfast table. Before she falls asleep. During the night when she can’t sleep. She knows the market supply backwards.

The home she liked on on a Wednesday is no longer there on a Thursday.

She has hired a Realtor to help her.

“Sure, we can go see that one. Let me check when they’re receiving offers…”

Or the dreaded call…

“Hi Ms. Ellsworth. I’m sorry to report that they went with one of the other offers…”

“ugggghhhh. This is soooooo frustrating!”

What makes a difficult situation even more difficult is the way Control & Frustration operate in tandem.

Control goes UP, Frustration goes DOWN

Control goes DOWN, Frustration goes UP

You’ve lost out on 6 offers and feel like you’re spinning your wheels. Your frustration is increasing while any feeling of control nears zero.


You’re selling your home and have 16 showings booked over the next 4 days with nothing but eager Realtors and buyers. You’re feeling pretty good about things. Frustration level? Not so much. Control? Absolutely.

The interesting part of it all is when the teeter totter starts to teeter the other way. The buyers with no control are waiting like hungry wolves for any chance to reclaim their position. So, when supply increases to feed demand or market dynamics shift to more balanced numbers, the seller’s that win are those that adjust and realize they have to give up some of that control.

The sellers that lose are those who are still pretending things haven’t changed.

And same for the buyers.

It can be tremendously difficult, but you are only buying or selling in the market you’re in. So, if delayed presentation of offers is the theme of the day, then as a buyer, you have to do your best to take a deep breath and plow ahead.

The interesting thing in this current market is that multiple offers are not being seen across the board (as we saw 4 years ago) which only increases the difficulty level of navigating these waters. Meaning, there are opportunities out there. They just take a bit of digging.

We’ll talk about that in another bLOG soon.

Until then, for you buyers out there, one step at a time, follow your plan and be patient.

And for you sellers, be careful. The higher the Control & Frustration levels ratchet, the easier it is to misstep. Having a skill professional on your side of the table is crucial.

Questions on the market? Feeling frustration or control and not sure what to do with it?

Reach out anytime. We are here to chat and help.

Thank-you for visiting.

…and thank-you to Markus Winkler for the SeeSaw photo.